ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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