She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
