I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
