Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize