the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
