at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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