I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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