well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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