If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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