ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
