That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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