im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
