All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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