If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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