i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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