Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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