I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine