You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
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Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.