drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
