I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
