A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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