dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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