our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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