Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
