never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
sex in a hospital.. check
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize