Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
