i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
