dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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