Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
