this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
