Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
