First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize