Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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