I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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