Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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