I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
