ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
