she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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