Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
