My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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