Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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