Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You made out with two different species that night
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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