can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
