we have officially lost it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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