We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
