I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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