This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
