Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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