I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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