you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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