Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We are all done wearing pants today
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
