Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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