his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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