Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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