can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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