U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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