I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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