Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
